On Yankees and the Cold

I once met a man from Louisiana who accused me of being a Yankee, because I lived in Washington, D.C., even though I am a Texan through and through. He was belligerently Southern and I found him both hilarious and disturbing. But his words have stuck with me and I must say I find myself agreeing with him. He went on and on about how he didn't trust people from up north on the grounds that "you can't trust a man who thinks it is normal to shovel snow out of his driveway before he goes to work." Nor can you trust someone who thinks temperatures that dip below freezing for several months out of the year is any way to live. "That ain't right. That just ain't right. You can't trust a man who thinks that is right," he said.

Indeed. That ain't right. While I have no snow to shovel, it is raining like crazy and when it hits the sidewalk it immediately freezes. Is that what they call freezing rain? I never did understand that term, because I always rather thought that when it was freezing rain turned to snow. I think maybe now I get it and it just ain't right. It sucks. I nearly killed myself getting the newspaper the sidewalk was so slippery. Well, I exaggerate. I did a crazy dance trying not to fall on my ass, but I could have nearly killed myself.

Then there is the dilemma of how do you heat a house built in the 1800s? There should be a class or at least a brochure on things you should know before you buy an old house up north. Maybe I'll write it.

1) No matter what you do, you won't be warm. Your nose and fingers will be popsicles, the pets will need earmuffs and there will be a frigid breeze whipping through stairwells, near windows and doors. The stairways act like breezeways, really.

2) It takes 10 minutes to get the hot water from the basement to the second floor (where all showers are), so your water bill will be extra high. (An on-demand water heater installed on second floor is in my future.)

3) Medicine cabinets installed on an outside wall result in frozen (or very nearly so) toiletries. You must take the deodorant out of the cabinet a good 30 minutes before using and place it in a warm spot unless you want quite the wake-up call.

4) Dishes kept in cabinets on outside walls must be warmed before using. That nice hot cup of coffee becomes lukewarm (at best) upon being poured into the cup. No wonder the man at the kitchen store made a big stink about getting a warming drawer. I scoffed at that as an unnecessary expense.

5) Store your PJs on the radiator. Socks, too. So when you go to put them on, you will be warm for a few minutes.

6) Invest in those fingerless gloves -- several pair -- so you can tend to household chores. Mittens and gloves make writing, cooking and anything else requiring fine motor skills impossible. But you can't go around without insulating yourself.

7) A scarf must be worn indoors at all times.

8) The house makes creepy noises at night. Sleep with soothing music playing to drown them out or you'll lie awake freaking yourself out. This one is especially important if you have a good imagination. And you'll need to be well rested to have the energy to not freeze to death in your own home.

9) In late summer when the temperatures dip at night, your house will get cold and not warm up during the day. So on those lovely September days when it is high 70s, low 80s, you'll be wearing sweaters and long pants inside and will have to change into summer clothes (near the door so you freeze before you get outside) when you leave the house.

I could go on, but I am depressing myself. I had grand plans to go to the grocery store, to search out cool photo albums and then finish wrapping gifts. I'm not leaving the house. I'm going to put on another pair of socks (or two), find my new hat and stay under the covers with the dog, who definitely needs ear warmers.

Even baking Christmas cookies is out, because it is too cold in here to allow the butter to come up to room temperature. I guess on the bright side, you don't really need a refrigerator during the winter. I could just leave all the stuff out on the counter. SIGH.

Venison Pie

We don't eat much meat for a variety of reasons and I have been a vegetarian on and off since high school. I love animals so much it makes me sad to eat them and I have a horror of the meat industry. "Fast Food Nation" anyone? That book seriously changed the way I eat. But I love meat, so every once in a while I fall off the vegetarian wagon and have some bacon.

Then there is the fact that my motto has always been "the cuter they are, the better they taste." Cows are OK, bacon delicious, duck is divine, lamb is fantastic, venison is even better and rabbit is heavenly. I don't see the point in wasting calories on food that is not fabulous, so I don't eat a lot of meat. In fact, in 2010 we are going to start a policy of only eating meat that was killed by someone we know. I couldn't possibly do the killing myself -- I'm not a good enough shot and I faint when I see blood.

Luckily, Drew's dad is a hunter, so we get quite a lot of venison every year and I made venison pot pie based on a recipe out of the November issue of British Country Living called "Venison, Guinness & Chestnut Pie." I didn't have chestnuts, so I added mushrooms and used a bottle of Duck Rabbit Milk Stout. I bought the beer because the logo is fabulous. The beer is so-so.

I cubed some venison cutlets, dipped them in salted and peppered flour, browned the meat in a large pot and set the meat aside aside. Then I sauteed leek, garlic and carrots and set that aside with the meat. Next added stock and scraped up the browned bits from the venison pan, added the meat and all the vegetables and the bottle of beer and some sprigs of thyme. Once it was bubbling gently, I put on the lid, turned down the heat and wandered away for about an hour until the meat was tender.

After the meat was done and the sauce thickened, I poured it all into a 2 quart baking dish, topped with pie crust decorated with pie dough antlers and baked it at 375 degrees until the crust was browned. YUM. Here is the recipe as I made it.

1 to 2 lbs. venison stew meat

3 TBSP flour

Salt and freshly ground pepper

2 to 3 TBSP butter or olive oil to over bottom of pan

1 leek, chopped

3 carrots sliced

4 garlic cloves crushed

several sprigs of thyme

1 bottle stout beer

2 to 3 cups of beef or game stock

1/2 to 3/4 lb. mushrooms

1 recipe of pie crust for a single crust pie (only butter in the pie crust, please)

1 beaten egg to glaze

Toss the venison in flour, salt and pepper. Melt butter in a large pan and cook in batches until nicely browned. Transfer to a plate. Add leek and carrots and cook 15 minutes, add garlic and cook until fragrant and soft, sprinkle in thyme. Transfer to plate with venison.

Add the stock and bring to a boil, scraping up meat residue and browned bits. Add meat, vegetables and beer. Bring back to a boil, lower heat, cover and simmer until meat is tender, one hour or more.

While cooking, heat butter or olive oil and saute the mushrooms until they give up their liquid and are browned. Once the meat is tender, add cooked mushrooms. Leave to cool or the pie will boil over when it goes in the oven.

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Pour the filling into a large pie dish or baking pan. If there is too much liquid, reserve it for serving as gravy. Cover the filling with the pastry, using the trimmings to shape antlers to decorate the pie. Brush with beaten egg to glaze and bake for 45 minutes until deep golden.